303 - Unfrumping Myself
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Resources from this episode:
A'del Cosmetics (Use code: NANCYRAY for 15% off)
Show Notes:
Today we’re talking about something I mentioned last week: unfrumping myself. If you’ve ever felt like you are living in workout clothes and you never actually workout or maybe you generally feel like you look homeless all the time, this episode is for you.
For the full episode, hit play above or read through below.
Okay, last week I shared my goals for 2026 and one of them was to unfrump myself. This came out of a very difficult day that I was having. I was texting with my sister, who was also having a hard day, and I was texting with two other mom friends, and they also were having a hard day. In our separate conversations, we all talked about how it felt impossible to get ready for the day, to just take care of our appearance and how we all that day felt like slobs and like we looked like we were homeless. I thought, you know what? I think a lot of moms feel this way. I think that it’s hard for some of us to just get dressed and ready. So I thought I’d dedicate a whole episode to it.
Here’s the thing : I’m a mom of five kids. They range from ages one to ten. I homeschool. I work from home. Somewhere along the way, I just stopped caring really about how I looked. I would wake up, I’d throw on workout clothes. I’d be ready to work out. I’d be ready to get a ton of stuff done that day. Then I’d never work out. I would just live in workout clothes. No makeup, hair pulled back, no shower, and then I’d roll right into homeschool or feeding the kids breakfast or cleaning that up and getting a snack or taking the kids somewhere or, you know, all the way through to making dinner, and I’m still in the same outfit. Mentally, it makes me feel behind all day, like I still have this thing that I need to do, which is get ready. I notice this in my kids as well. When I make them get dressed and ready for their homeschool days, they work harder than when I let them have pajama days. It is a total mindset thing.
I also rarely leave the house, which makes it really hard to want to prioritize my appearance. Like, why bother getting ready if literally my kids are the only ones seeing me? I’m just going to be at home all day. But like I said, I’ve realized that how I look affects how I feel and how I feel affects how I show up for my family and my work. So I’ve decided this is the year that I want to make some changes and I am going to share with you what I am going to try to do about it.
First, I’m going to give myself a timeframe for working out, and that timeframe is 10 a.m. If I don’t get my workout done before 10 a.m., then great. It’s not a workout day for me. I’m going to change and get ready. I’m going to change out of my workout clothes at 10 a.m. and I’m going to get ready for the day. I’m not going to let my day hinge on whether or not I worked out. I’m not going to let that feel like a failure.
My goal; my end goal, is that eventually I’ll be working out at 5:30 a.m. again. Then I’ll be able to shower, get dressed, and get ready for the day right after that and feel good. However, I’m not sleeping through the night yet, and I just can’t do that yet because I will not be a nice person if I do that right now while waking up multiple times in the night. So I think a 10 a.m. cutoff is a great idea.
Another thing I’m going to do. I am going to finish my closet clean out. I got really far in it. You know, I’m on the Contentment Challenge and the first challenge is to clean out your closet. I love cleaning out my closet, but I haven’t finished the job. Like, I need to take stuff to donations. I need to get rid of stuff. I need to finish organizing. But one thing that I’ve done this time, I’ve never done this before. I’m hanging up my clothes by outfit rather than grouping all the shirts together, all the pants together, etc. This has made it so much easier mentally to just grab an outfit and go. These outfits have to fit the criteria. They have to be comfortable, they have to fit me right now, and they have to be just easy to grab and go. No decision making. My sister is the one who has taught me all of these criteria and all these things. She has the most amazing capsule wardrobe right now and so I’m just aspiring to be like her.
I think I just need to cut down on the decision making because I think a lot of times I just don’t want to put up the effort of making a cute outfit in the morning because I just don’t really care and I just want to go on with the day. You know what I mean? So hanging up clothes in my closet by outfit I think is really key.
Taking that a step further, I also want to hang up outfits for the upcoming week on Sunday in order. Here’s how I think this is gonna help me. I will obviously be choosing my outfit according to my schedule. So, like, if I’m going to be out and about or see people in public, I’m going to need more of a put-together outfit. Maybe there’s one outfit where I have a frumpy day and I lean into the frump and it’s fine and I’m like, I’m wearing workout clothes all day because my job is to clean the bathrooms and pick up the playroom, fold a bunch of laundry, do a workout, and it’s just that kind of day and I want to be in that outfit. But guess what? If I do that, that’s like a mindset thing. Like, I am intentionally showing up to work hard and I haven’t failed because I didn’t work out. Like, no, this is my work outfit. You know what I mean?
So obviously, the whole goal is to take the decision making out of it. Decision fatigue is so real. If I have a plan ahead of the week’s beginning, I know that like, hey, I’m going to be in comfy leggings this day. I’m going to wear my favorite jeans this day. I’m going to wear a dress this day. Every day comes with some makeup and jewelry. I’m going to feel comfy and cute all week long and I’m going to show up ready to go.
Alright, another way I’m going to unfrump is to become a pro at my five-minute face. I have no excuse to just put on like five minutes of makeup, just to feel fresh, to feel a little put together. I’m talking like all my favorite A’del Cosmetics makeup that literally takes like no time at all. It’s so natural, but it’s beautiful. Just a little bit of their loose-leaf powdered foundation, some of their cream blush that I love. Just blend that in. Maybe a little eyeliner, a little mascara, and some lips, if I go out. That’s it. Five minutes or less even. I honestly think I could do that whole thing in maybe two or three minutes.
Another thing I want to do. Wear shoes in my house. Now, I don’t love to bring in dirty shoes in a house and wear shoes like all over my house, but I have this one pair of tennis shoes that are only for wearing inside my house, so they stay clean. There is something about wearing my shoes inside my house that makes me feel so much more productive. I know it sounds silly, but it’s true. I get more stuff done when I’ve got my shoes laced up and ready to go.
I’m going to continue to create my capsule wardrobe and refine it throughout the year. So I want to do a refining wardrobe refresh with my select outfits every single season and I’m going to use AI to help me. I’m going to ask AI to be my personal stylist and talk to ChatGPT or Claude and be like, listen, this is my life. Help me pare it down. Help me figure out my style. Let’s go and see what happens. Just continuing down that path of making my life simpler and helping it choose things for me. So, ChatGPT is gonna help me create outfit combinations, a capsule wardrobe with clothes that I already have in different categories, like church, working out, everyday life, and I don’t know, out-and-about appointments. I don’t know. ChatGPT is gonna tell me all that eventually.
Alright, the next thing I want to do to unfrump myself is to keep my eyebrows and nails fresh. If I feel like my eyebrows are done and my nails are just clean and short and ready to go, boom. Already so much better. I feel so much more frumpy when my eyebrows need attention and my nails are just like, ugh, you know what I mean? By fresh, it doesn’t always mean my nails are done at a salon. I actually don’t love going to the nail salon. I do my own nails. I will paint my own nails very occasionally. Right now, fresh means cut, filed, moisturized hands, very clean and natural. That is my go-to look right now for my hands. My eyebrows, I just want to go more regularly to the eyebrow threading lady who makes my eyebrows look so fresh and clean and that is it. Those two things I feel like will make me feel so less frumpy, even if I end up without makeup on for the day.
Lastly, I’m going to take a sheet from Milly’s playbook. Millie is my ten year-old daughter and she has just recently been putting Post-it notes on her mirror with outfit ideas and choices that she has and how different outfits work for different things in her life and I love that idea. So Milly, I just want to say, good job, girl. Your mom is learning from you and I think that is awesome.
Bottom line is I just want to prioritize comfort with style. I want to choose my clothes ahead of time. I want to learn to get ready every morning in very little time. I don’t want it to feel rushed. I don’t want to be angry about it. I want it to be fun and playful and enjoyable to get ready in the morning. But I do want it to be quick, simple. For me, I don’t want it to feel crazy. I just want to be putting clothes on that make me feel like me and make me feel together.
I’m hoping these small changes are going to help me feel less frumpy and more confident and like I’m actually 39 years old this year and I’m showing up for my family and the work that I have to do, no matter if I see anyone else or not. That’s not what this is about. This is not about vanity. This is not about it being all about me. This is about stewarding the body God has given me, the style that I lean towards. It’s about showing up as my best self for my family and my work. It’s about honoring myself, which is hard to do as a mom. Guys, it is hard to just stop and honor yourself and how you look and feel.
So if you are like me and you’ve been feeling frumpy, I just want to encourage you. You’re not alone. I am so with you and you’re worth the effort. You’re worth the extra five to ten minutes it takes to put on a little makeup and to put on a comfy but cute outfit that makes you feel ready for the day. It takes time to plan these things out, but hey, I think that it’s gonna serve us so well if we put in a little bit of extra time and attention to it and I am excited to hopefully unfrump myself this year with you.
Alright, thanks for listening to episode 303 of Work and Play with Nancy Ray. Is this the weirdest episode I’ve ever done? Maybe, maybe. But I have a feeling a lot of you are going to be nodding in solidarity with me. We can do this.
Everything I’ve mentioned today can be found in the show notes at nancyray.com/podcast/303. I did want to mention A’del Cosmetics truly is my favorite makeup brand. I am an affiliate for them. I love them. I have been using them for years now. It’s the only skincare and makeup that I use. They’re believers. They have Scripture printed on everything. All organic, high-quality ingredients. I love them. Go check them out at the link in the show notes.
Also, you can find me at nancyray.com or follow me at @NancyRay on Instagram almost daily.
I’m going to close with words from Audrey Hepburn who said,
“Happy girls are the prettiest girls.”
Thanks for listening and I’ll catch you next time.